I don't update blog often :D

Saturday, November 29, 2008

It ended, worse than I expected.
But I feel lucky.
As I don't want it to be any better.

I'm back to myself now.
At least, most of the time.
I understanded your cruelity.
I understanded your rejection.
I understanded your answer.
I understanded your reason.
I cried for your cruelity.
I cried for your rejection.
I cried for your answer.
I cried for your reason.
I accepted your cruelity.
I accepted your rejection.
I accepted your answer.
I accepted your reason.

Now, I wanted peacefulness.
I stopped crying.
I ended your cruelity.
I halted your harm against me.

Everything shall end.
In a blink of an eye.
Love.
Hatred.
Cruelity.
Cries.
Pain.
Craziness.
Never again for you.

Its not my nature to do so.
I always find a way to manage something.
Even in the worst situation.
I wouldnt do so.

Love is like the wind, after the cool breeze, nothing will be left.

Fools do foolish things to make foolishness possible, only after realizing how foolish they are, they stop being a fool and end foolishness.

Tired of everything,
Wayne

My world turned black and WHITE @
11:25 PM

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Finally, from you, I received my answer.
The answer, bringing thorns, pierced through my heart.

I never loved anyone like this, and yet hated them for what they did.
Hurting me me like no one did before.
I've taken enough wounds to take one more.
Your answer, straight and painful, bringing me more sorrows.

I've cheered up a bit, always attempting to let go.
And you just let me cry again.
I know its stupid to cry for you.
But I can't resist, the pain you've given is more than you could imagine.

You may think, short duration relationship breakup may not hurt much.
But for me, this is the shortest relationship I've been with someone.
But its the most painful one I had.

Crazily, I'm still finding ways to hook you back up.
Some of my friends supported, and some say its pointless.
I'm stupid and sometimes annoying, I know.
But its my nature, and I care the ones I loved most.
You can't stop me from being who I am, but you can change me for being who you want me to be.

I'm tired.
Tired of thinking, thinking what to do.
Tired of wondering, wondering what will you do.
Tired of guessing, guessing are you still there.
Tired of being unusuall, unusuall liking someone I'm tired to.
Tired of you, tired of your lies.

But, even if you have let go of me, i'll still be there when you needed.
Until who knows when.
To me, you're the sun.
Providing me energy to continue my life.
Now you're fading away, I'm losing myself.

Breakups is the start of despair and sorrow, but if given a chance, before the end, I choose to love you once again.

Bleeding,
Wayne

My world turned black and WHITE @
10:17 AM

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Eventhough she did not tell me.
Her friend did.

Her friend told me that...
She broke up with me cuz...
She thinks that she doesn't suit me.
She's fat.
She had pimples.
She had a rough voice.
This is the real reason.
This is the damn reason haunting me.

I never wanted pretty women.
I never wanted cute gals.
I never wanted hot chicks.
Even if I can.
I liked girls that would chat to me.
I liked girls that could make me laugh.
I liked girls that would brighten up my day.
Even if she's fat.
Even if she had pimples.
Even if she had rough voices.
Even if she's horribly disfigured.
Even if she's the ugliest women in the world.
I would still love her.

Not suitable for me?
Why?
By knowing this she hurted me more.
More than anyone once did.
She's making me cry even more.
My tears all over my shirt.
Crying typing this message.

I cry because I fell in love with you, the tears shall be the best proof.

You're the reason i'm laughing all these days, and you're the reason i'm crying now.

In tears,
Wayne

My world turned black and WHITE @
10:55 PM

Lets make this short and straight to the point.
I broke up with my girl, and i'm sad.
If i'd knew this was coming, I won't start a relationship with her.

I'm lucky, I still had a bunch of friends supporting me.
Like Rouxin Mui, Chantele Mui, and Yann, who supported me quite alot.
I still feel sad though, cuz I still can't let go.
I may be laughing outside, but crying inside.

Today, I went to Times Square with Chantele Mui and her friends.
I wanted to have fun, but I couldn't.
My smile was stiff, happiness was fake.
The same reason I wrote this.
Although I can't be happy, but it did cheered me a little.

Why should I EVER cry for you?
I'm not wrong, in any direction, any way.
Although this relationship didn't last long.
It lasted 5 days 8 hours 45 minutes and 32 second.
More than half of the 45 minutes I still can't take the fact we broke up.
So I counted it in.

You said your mom found out about us.
I could figure it was a lie, after your friend told me that.
If its just that, why breakup?
We could still run a low profile and stay together, until god knows when.
I wanted to know the reason, why the lie?
But you NEVER told me why.
You're still hurting me eventhough we're not together.
Why should this end this way.

I wanted the reason for the death of my heart against you.
But you're so selfish to tell me the reason.
I asked again and again, again and again.
But all I get is nothing but your friends call not to bother you any more.
FINE! If this is what you wanted, you get it!
I swear to god I'll not answer you in any damn way until I get my answer.
FOREVER!

5 days we're together.
I couln't understand why you can do so much damage to me.
Maybe you're special, unlike those that I are with once.
But for once, I had to treat you this way.
The hardest thing I could do to my ex.
You said you were sorry, but I couldn't accept it.
Its too hard for me too accept it, I would rather die than accepting it.
But I don't want to die, so I choose not to accept it.

Love is like mountain climbing, the higher you go the happier you are, and the higher you are the more pain taken when you fall.

You took me climbing Mt. Everest, took me up to the top, and pushed me down.

In tears,
Wayne

My world turned black and WHITE @
9:36 PM