It was the scariest day of my life.
Never being that nervous.
So scary, I mind is giving me daymares[ opposite of nightmare ].
The night before, I slept early.
The earliest hour I'm sleeping since holiday started.
I slept at 11.00p.m.
The mosquitoes seemed more annoying than normal.
Bugging me, buzzing by my ears.
Disturbing my abnormal slumber.
I wanted to sleep, but they won't let me!
The buzzing continued until 4a.m.
I manage to close my eye, but can't get my mind to rest.
Those buzzing mosquitoes is keeping my mind awake.
As if telling me I'm gonna fail all my subjects!
I was waken by mosquitoes again around 6a.m.
After that, I couldn't sleep anymore.
I'm too nervous to sleep.
I crept up from my head.
Scratched my head for somewhile.
Then tried to kill those annoying mosquitoes by slapping blindly.
But my attempt is totally useless.
I sat at my computer chair and started hogging my computer.
Until 8a.m. only I realised its sunrise and started getting ready.
Quite an amount of peoples are online by then.
Wishing each other good luck.
And yet most of them got their luck, except me.
Got all ready by 9a.m.
Sat my friend's car to school.
And when we reach there, it is still early.
We waited beside our school mini pond.
10.30a.m.
I went into our school hall anxiously.
Awaiting death to reach my hand.
It was my turn, teacher spun around and told me my result was suspended.
What the heck?
Suspended?
Its my student profile, the yellow file.
I didn't complete it during school days.
Now I have to complete it to get my result.
What to do?
I lack a photo, my dad salary slip and a telephone bill.
A photo?
Where the hell do I get a passport size photo at?
Snap one using my handphone and print it out?
Luckily I remembered I remained the ugliest photo ever taken and left it at home.
Can't believe ugly me saved my own ass!
Ok, salary slip.
What the hell?
How do I get one?
My dad is outstation and not expected to be back till late night.
Teacher gave me a substitute one but needed dads signature.
Darn it, I couldn't wait to lay my hands on those bloody results!
I immitated my dads signature to pass that.
But for the dumb telephone bill I had to rush back home.
I ran and ran like a mad man to home.
Telephone bill hunting.
Hunted and found some that cannot be used.
Ah! I know!
The cursed telephone bill that made me owe my brother a few hundred bucks!
I overused that month, ouch!
I took the bill to school and when I reach the school gate.
Oh for god sake!
I left the whole student profile at home!
For cryin out loud!
I had to run like a hooligan again!
Sweats rolling down my T-shirt like waterfall.
I had both things at hand. Confirmed!
Ran to school again!
I'm getting sunburnt!
Finally, the teacher checked my student profile.
Luckily my dads fake signature passed!
Sorry teacher! I wasn't gonna trick you if my dad's at home! Really sorry!
But still I still had minor mistakes in that profile that needs to me corrected!
Oh my my! Not running home again! That oughta kill me!
Luckily the teacher had pity on me for running home twice and let me pass.
Thank you teacher! Owe you lots!
I took my damn results paper from Mr. Wong. Our student advisor.
It was kinda scary, I heard he was mean to every problem student. And I'm one!
Well, he didn't say much, called me to sign my name on the form and let me take my result.
Lucky me, phew...
Like playing poker, I covered my result slip with the oral result paper.
When I walk out of the office, one by one I peeked at my results.
Oh my goodness!
Results:
Bahasa Melayu B
Bahasa Inggeris A
Mathematics A
Science A
Sejarah B
Geografi B
KH B
Bahasa Cina B
I nearly burst to tears looking at my results.
Tears of joy? Hell no!
Since I'm still in the public I did not do so.
I took my paper and ran back home as if my house is on fire!
At home, I sat on the sofa quietly.
Thought for awhile about the result I got.
Still sad about it, but lost the mood crying, too tired I guess.
I got online, peoples were asking me for my result like cannonballs!
Pain stabbed through my heart.
My results were the worst among my friends.
My heart collapsed, dead.
I short messaged to some of my friends getting their result as well.
Some got really good results!
Yet some of them comforted me. Thanks!
Throughout the day wasn't hard to go.
But some miracles did happen.
My dad, that used to care nothing about me.
Did not know when I was sick.
Ask me to do this do that.
Called me and asked for my results!
Wow! Its really surprizing! It never happened!
Thanks dad! It was always what I wanted.
And my mom, which I expect being murdered by later.
Comforted me and encourages me!
She always wanted me to do the best.
Yet I got her the worst this time and dissapointed her.
She did not even get a little mad, yet comforted me.
I know she is dissapointed, but she did not say a word.
Sorry mom, thanks for your encouragement! I love you!
My brother, which teased me all along.
From before till after the test.
That seemingly discouraging me but actually isn't.
He said nothing mean to me neither!
Yet he said I did my best!
Got me a surprize present if I manage to reach Times Square on Friday.
Thanks!
My sister, that encourages me all along.
Said nothing to me till now.
I don't know if she's mad at me or so.
But I know she still cares for me.
She really do!
It had been the worst day of my life, but yet the best!
The last miracle is that I ran about 13km for my result paper!
I couldn't even do that in a marathon!
And to my friends getting good results, congratulations!
Thanks for comforting me!
The greatest thanks and love goes to my beloved sister, Rouxin!
For encouraging me along the way.
From before the test until now.
She is always worried yet cared about me.
Thanks! Love you!
And to my Jie, Poh Li as well.
Early in the morning before when I started my phone.
She short messaged me asking for my condition.
And then calming my nerve down.
Which saves me from jumping of the building before taking the results.
Gives me the courage to take the result paper.
Thanks! Love you too!
My few other sisters.
Wan Thung, Angel and Alice helped calming me down as well.
Well, except Wan Thung which helped using another way.
Her condition was worse than me, at least she think she is.
She had her hair cut short and she think it looks horrible.
Which turns the other way round makes me need to comfort her abit.
Which helped calm myself down abit.
Thanks my sisters! You girls are the best!
And then my other Jie, Sim Wey.
She is also a candidate of the test.
Her results were better than me, but she never toot her own horn.
Yet she say she thanked me for helping her in some way getting her results.
Which are better than she expected.
And helped pull my spirit up.
Love you!
Other credits goes to all my friends,
Xue Er, Cassandra, Bowie, Ruishen, Andrea, Pui Man, Lei Ting, Wan Wei and Yean Chu.
Jin Ming, Daniel, Hua Xiang, Burnet, Kean Way, Chin Yung and Kenny.
Sometimes, result may not be as bad as it seems.
It may take something bad to make miracles happen.
Always remember you're always not the best, and not the worst.
There will always be people supporting you, no matter how far they are.
Never have regrets towards what you have already made, live with it!
Happy for not what he've done, but what what he've done brought to him,
Wayne
My world turned black and WHITE @
10:52 PM
10:52 PM
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Changes occur.
Occur in any rare occasions.
There's a change.
I don't know its a big one or just a wee bit.
It happened, soundless.
As silent as death.
Its hard to explain.
Even my mind is telling me to stop.
Stop thinking of it.
Thinking of the sudden changes.
I realised I'm a grown kid now.
Not to cry for what I want anymore.
Not to hide behind peoples when I am scared.
I am, Wayne.
I musn't be a coward no more.
Being the wimp I used to be.
The pain I once beared.
Is helping me, in some ways.
Yet it will never be the same again.
Being myself, or not myself.
Does it matter?
I don't think so.
Thing is, I don't even know when.
When am I behaving like myself.
Which one is really me.
I'm a lone soul.
A soul walking lifelessly.
As if invisible, unnoticable.
Cursed by fate.
To be this way.
Sworn to be free from the curse.
I believe that fate is in my own hands.
It is my choice to change it.
Not to be controlled by fate.
The change.
Is it a positive or a negative change?
I don't know.
It is unexpected.
The change comes with a chance.
Or could be said a hope.
The hope found me actually.
Under unexpected situations.
And yet I still got on to hope.
And followed hope.
And hoped to make hope reality!
Yet I got stuck with hope.
Hope did not reply.
I wished that things get right with hope.
So I can own hope.
Big ambitions comes with big dreams which is related by a big hope.
Think the other way, or from another point of view.
The more you have, the larger responsibility it is.
The only reason getting mad is to let people know what you think. Am I ever mad?
If its pointless being alive, why not just die?
Wayne
My world turned black and WHITE @
9:44 PM
9:44 PM
Thursday, December 11, 2008
WoW!
When I wrote this... Its a day after my best day in 2008.
Before the real thing.
We were preparing and asking who to join.
Both dance and drama.
I was, sorta like forced to dancing.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE!
And I volunteered to be in drama.
And is the only bad guy in it.
Its not really a bad guy.
Just a guy having 1st try on robbing.
And creates comedy whole robbing.
The dance practice was hard, real hard.
We had voted for which move to dance.
As some dance were harder but not impossible to dance.
Well, things got better.
Dance crew was made.
Me, Heaw Eng, Kenny, Yik How, Burnet, Zhen Xing.
Heaw Eng is our Resource Centre Chairman, Chairman of the farewell ceremony and leader of the dance crew.
He indeed is a fabulous leader, leading, teaching and guiding us.
The dance crew was formidably made.
And then, the drama.
Again, nearly whole of the dance crew joined the drama, except Burnet.
Burnet joined the afternoon session drama due to lack of actor.
He is the famous Monkey King, Sun WuKong.
Zhen Xing wasn't really in the act actually.
He is the guy that takes the cardboard showing time.
We rarely practiced though.
Once a week and for half an hour only.
Most of the time is used up on dancing.
We are called to come at 7-9 or 10 am at the morning of Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Sometimes at Saturdays as well.
I missed a couple of it due to sickness and emergencies.
But I still managed to catchup.
Finally, the big day!
We still came at 8 in the morning for last rehearsal.
And for 1st rehearsal for drama, damn huh?
The sound record was made earlier.
But moves rehearsal is rehearsed earlier at the day of performance.
That day, after final rehearsal.
We went to McDonalds for lunch.
My wallet bled when I pulled out my last RM10.
But that meal was awesome.
Managed to keep me till near dinner.
And its game time when we are back at school.
I registered my name in as soon as I saw the counter, haha!
Although no special rewards for being early.
So what? I'm excited!
I joined team green.
Each team is saperated into three mini team.
And I'm in team green 3. A.K.A 青山
And we lost an amount of money at first.
But then won and won and won!
And we made a total of 7800!
Probably the team that made the most money.
And my face got scribbled by evil Miss. KJY.... sobs~~
Other games were fun also.
Especially the can throwing.
We won about 5000-6000 there.
And poor Big Ear Long, had to borrow money to own partners.
Haha!
And at last!
After one hour of hard battle for more money [ eventhough we had alot already ].
The PK battle starts.
Its a battle of wits, courage, speed, teamwork and hunger.
LOL! Why hunger?
The first battle was a short sentence and we are asked to count the alphabets in the sentence.
And by teamwork we won! 5000 cash was added to our account.
And the second battle is the battle of food.
To feel how those poor people eat.
By hand and no special food.
Just plain bread and noodles with a little soy sauce added.
2 bottles of 1.5 litre mineral water and a can of sprite.
As our team is made out of boys.
We ate like we're really those in hunger.
I ate a plate of noodle and eew~~
It taste of nothing!
But due to hunger I finished it like it was abalone.
And yet we won the second battle!
Quicker than the other few groups.
5000 more to our account!
We won the Games Session with a long gap with the 2nd winning team!
And the prize is a hamper! Its the same as the 2nd place... But the feel as the winner is AWESOME!
I even manage to snuck a few cans of carbonated drinks for myself. HAHA
I'm drinking it while typing this blog.
Its a short break after game session.
I didn't really have much time for a break.
I was the location master assistant.
And then I changed into formal outfit.
For the farewell ceremony opening.
My mei, Yan Yan was so nice in her outfit.
Its her first time as master of the ceremony I think.
And then the party started.
Me and the dance crew managed to scoop a few spoon of food into our mouth.
And then we rushed up to the changing room and changed into our performance outfit.
The afternoon session drama went so well it made us nervous.
And then finally our show, PA system made a mistake not closing the lights.
But it went well, much better than we expected!
I was not the main character of the story, but I was an important one to make it funnier.
Later, the dance start.
And PA made a terrible mistake.
They nearly screwed up everything.
Luckily we managed to cover it up so everything looked normal.
We were the BOMB in the party.
Girls screamed, peoples awed.
Haha, it made me feel very high the whole night!
And later after the girls dance, we were asked to invite those under the stage to dance.
And it is the romance dance time.
I failed to invite one girl, but managed to invite two other girls to dance.
It was a cool night, and it seemed the legend is true.
The Waltz, is a dance of miracle.
While dancing, the man must lead his lady to dance.
The man steps back, the lady, as magic... will follow.
The man steps to the right, the lady will follow as well.
It is trully a dance of mystery.
The night ended with full of joy.
I hope and I will participate in the next one.
Bounty of farewell party:
6 cans of drink[ three Sprite, two 7 up and a can of Cola ]
Some cakes.
A packet of noodles[uncooked] that I won from lucky draw.
And a bag of chips.
Being one of the libirians, has been a luck for me.
Your efforts, for the resource centre, shall be remembered by us.
It may be the last time, but I hope it isn't.
Please remember, the joys and fun time we are together.
And I hope to see you guys again.
Still high after party,
Wayne
My world turned black and WHITE @
9:39 PM
9:39 PM
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Hell no its not about love again.
Temporarily will be outta this topic.
This post will be the type of joke style.
Suddenly felt cheerful and wanna joke around.
So don't expect any serious stuff in this post.
Other than the last part la.
This topic is suffering.
Suffer what?
Sufferings from sickness.
Suffering from boringness.
Suffering from busy but still boring-ness.
Suffering from mom bugging my life.
Suffering from not enough sleep time.
Sickness, WOW!
I wanted to be sick like this since a year ago.
Wanted to be sick? LOL!
I was not sick for like ages and missed sick days. HAHA
But wrong timing. SIGHS
This is continued.
Why wrong time? WHY!
I'm busy preparing for the resource centre farewell dinner.
And now suddenly, POOF!
I'm sick. Missed a couple of trainings.
And I wanted to do everything perfectly! T_T
Well, its still continued.
How could I be busy and bored?
I got myself a new job, assistant tutor at my aunts learning centre.
I didn't even have a second spare there.
Well, a few maybe.
Standing in front of mirror after washing face.
Thinkin why do I look so bad.
The works there are repeated! AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!
No offence, still links.
Mom is bugging my life now.
From top to toe.
My resource centre farewell dinner needs a vest.
And she just had to ask for everything.
The price, where to get it, how I get it, who's there. ARRGGHHH
My god, I need to breath mom~
Yup, still links.
Not enough sleep, every single day.
Can be said my fault.
I never really wanted to sleep.
It felt like wasting time.
Using time of slumber to do something else.
But whenever I felt like it.
Resource centre stuff, or mom stuff or whatever just pops up!
Unabling me to get a nap.
Having a bad cold means sneezes time by time.
And every sneezes wakes me. T_T
Someone, ANYONE!
SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!
Do not say BLESS YOU, beside a sneezing people. Say, WHO CURSED YOU???
Sometimes, it takes something to realise something.
No one is more important that you yourself.
Choose to lead, not follow. If requirements doesn't allow, choose to lead or assist leaders not follow them blindly.
Sneezed about five times typing this bar of word,
Wayne
My world turned black and WHITE @
6:32 AM
6:32 AM
Monday, December 1, 2008
My heart, was once your property.
My mind, yet remained mine.
Owning me isn't hard, but not easy.
Its like owning a pet.
Cherish.
Love.
Care.
Yet you did none above.
My heart, time by time, shattered.
Hunger for your cherish.
Longed for your love.
Crave for your care.
As it knows that you will never do the above again.
It died, sound of its shattering could be heard miles away.
Leaving nothing but pieces.
Awaiting someone to put it back together.
It waited and waited, no one came.
It pulled itself together.
And formed a new self.
But scars are left.
Deep scars, never to heal by itself.
Finding new hope for itself.
But yet none was found yet.
It found some hearts sharing same scars.
It made friends with them.
Shared sorrows and joys.
Healing each others wound.
Yet no one gets completely healed.
Leaving friends, it seeks for hope itself.
Being alone, it found answers.
Answers may be cruel but it explains everything.
It found reasons.
Why everything happened and how it ended.
It realised, ending may not end well.
But at least enjoy the start.
Attempts may be futile.
Tries may fail.
But at least it tried and tried.
Cruelity is ruthless, but teaches lesson.
Being broken once, it grew stronger.
The wounds are still aching.
But it is healing.
Never again, it shall be treated this way.
Being a slave of love.
Tortured.
Fooled.
Sacrificed.
Bleed.
Tired.
It takes time, and time is there for it.
There is no reason for hating, and no reason for forgiving.
There is no mercy for love, and no forgiving in cruelity.
There is no sorrows for fragility of heart, and no joy for sturdiness of soul.
There is no boundaries for care, and no borderline for help.
There is no cure for scars of heart, and no antidote for wounds of soul.
There is no fools in love, and no fakers in hatred.
Seeking for way out,
Wayne
My world turned black and WHITE @
10:42 PM
10:42 PM